home *** CD-ROM | disk | FTP | other *** search
Text File | 1994-06-10 | 61.9 KB | 2,113 lines |
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- The Magical Record of
- The Scarlet Woman
- Alostrael 31-666-31
- Leah Hirsig
- From January 15, 1924
- to
- December 27, 1924 e.v.
- Mss Diaries of Disciples
- Leah Hirsig
- Cat No. DD1
- Alostrael's Visions
- Copied from Diaries of
- The Beast 666 and Alostrael 31-666-31
- beginning Luna [Monday] October 29, 1923 e.v.
- (Luna in 1o Aries, An. xix)
- Nefta, Tunisie Cefalu, Sicily
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 1
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- (Visions continued)
-
- Note - These visions recorded by myself are quite insuffi-
- cient, fragmentary, and concentration bad.
-
- I.E Jan. 15. (L)
- Concentrating on War Engine. Nothing except a reference to
- CCXX, III.26.
-
- II. F Jan. 17. (22L)
- 9 PM: During and after Amoun Invocation I asked for Light
- (IEHI AUD). Thin stalked leaves with heavy birds on them as
- in a previous vision. I said ``I understand'' and had a
- feeling of something definitely accomplished.
-
- Sater - Preliminary invocation.
- Started vision but couldn't hold it. A lion turned into a
- beetle which was really a sun
-
- 7o = 4o
- asked for someone of higher grade
-
- 8o = 3o XI - a Dog. And no more!
- III. C Jan. 18.
- 9 PM Ra-Hoor-Khuit Invocation. Asked for light. stir not
- (heard). Elixir (seen)
-
- IV. G Jan. 19.
- 5:30 PM Preliminary Invocation (33L) War Engine Met a dragon
- - who looked mild after
-
- 93
- Flashes of A, etc. A man - his name - AUM - 84 Showed me
- that War Enging was of metal (very fine), and to be hurled.
- Not electricity. Danger of being seen hurling? No.
-
- V.A Jan. 20.
- 7:30-8:30 (?) PM - A period of silence in which to invoke
- Neptune to look after OPV and Mss. An anchor and a white
- bird flying over it.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 2
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- VI. Sater - Preliminary Invocation
- Concentration - W.E.
-
- (I forget much of what I saw. A man in a simple dark
- robe carrying a red heart appeared eventually and
- showed me a room where a man, a woman, and a child
- were eating in a very poor room. I got the impression
- that the W.E. energy would be got for us from by such
- a person - 93 changed the room and it was illuminated
- by an 11 pointed star.)
-
- I was shown a rocky country - perhaps Russia - presumably
- the place where the energy would be found or created. More -
- but nothing definite.
-
- VII. (grass) B 11:15 AM Jan. 22(?)
- OPV's S. Complex had nothing to do with me personally in
- particular - it was merely the ``longing to be planted.'' He
- makes this an excuse for not doing things.
-
- VIII. 5:30 PM (11 L)
- Clear vision - nothing.
-
- IX. Jan. 24 (22 dr: L.)
- 4:30 PM - Preliminary Invocation Ra-Hoor-Khuit Invocation
- Ragged - Disconnected. O seem as a spherical object.
-
- Man in dark robe - red heart - in long room richly decorated
- and with a long table in it. Couldn't hold vision - trav-
- elled over all sorts of country, but nothing definite: 5:00
- PM
-
- X.Jan 30. 2:15 PM (Grass)
- I have the True Intrepretation of A Dillar, a Dollar, etc.
-
- XI. C Feb. 8
- [This began a series of 11 ceremonies invoking R.H.K.]
-
- An excellent Pentagram. Read Chapter III, CCXX - Impromptu
- invocation of R.H.K. asking for Light on Chapter III. All
- this, the reading I got a strong impression that the printed
- copies of CCXX should not bt used or circulate. I very
- nearly destroyed my own. We must fulfil CCXX - III before
- anything else.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 3
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- Invocation of RA-HOOR-KHUIT
- O Thou God of War and of Vengence, Hear me, Alostrael, etc.
- who invokes Thee to help us to do Thy Work.
-
- Be Thou our strength, our force, and vigor of our arms,
- as Unit is our refuge, and Hadit our Light, that we
- may go on, go on, in Thy strength, and fight as brothers.
-
- Hear me, Thou Lord of the Double Wand of Power. Unto Thee
- do I eat this cake of light, that it may breed lust
- and power of lust in me.
-
- Hear Thou me, O Lord of Silence and of Strength. Show me Thy
- way that I may follow Thee in it.
-
- Give Thou of Thy Wisdom to Our Lord, The Beast 666, whom
- Nuit has called her Scribe, Ankh-af-na-khonsu, the Priest of
- Princes; whom Hadit Hails at the Prophet of Nu, the Prophet
- of Had, the Prophet of Ra-Hoor-Khu; and whom Thou hast
- termed O Blessed Beast, that He may comment with his Three-
- fold Book of Law with hadit burning in his heart.
-
- Thee, in whose name is hidden and glorious, a splendor
- I Invoke, I greet
- Thy presence, O Ra-Hoor-Khuit.
-
- Unity uttermost showed!
- I adore the might of Thy breath.
- Supreme and terrible God
- That maketh the Gods and death
- To tremble before Thee: -
- I adore Thee.
-
- Appear on the throne of Ra!
- Open the ways of the Khu!
- Lighten the ways of the Ka
- The ways of the Khabs run through
- To stir me or to still me!
- Aum! Let it fill me!
-
- XII. G Feb 9 (Grass & L)
- Wrote Invocation - used it in Pentagram - Very forceful.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 4
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- Grass
-
- 1. Our ``island'' should be governed by the ``Wise men''
- Defined - Those who have a knowledge of Nature, i.e.,
- Initiate:
-
- 2.1 2 wise men; 1 Philosopher
- 2 Poet
- 3 Fighter (practical)
- 4 Fighter (strategical)
- 5 Agriculturist
- 6 Scientist
- 7 Priest
- 8 Historian
- 9 Mechanic
- 10 Saw Worker
- 11 Psychologist
- 12 Medicine Man
-
- Our island - low, flat tongue of land, mountains in back-
- ground (real colony). Another shore wooded, birds, nothing
- distinctive, might be anywhere.
-
- XIII. A Feb. 10
- Invocation - Sabatini (Born July 8, 1899, Palermo 4:30 PM)
- in sort of trance.
-
- XIV. K Feb. 11
- Invocation - Vision Sabitini
-
- Vision #1, Arturo Sabatini
- He sees a white house. Inside the house are lignted candles.
- There are 5 people, 3 steps, 6 candles. There is a rug on
- the floor. A domed roof. An image of bronze. One man with a
- beard, clothed in a blue cape, and on hishead a white mitre
- embroidered with gold. His belt is as his mitre. A statue of
- (?) Thelema - has a long cap on its head. The seer sees only
- half of this figure. He is 62,000 miles away from Cefalu.
- Where? (In our country). On addressing the bearded man
- (93), the reply is: A prophet -
-
- BROVIE
- His name
-
- BENY
- Then a cloud gradually enveloped the entire scene, and the
- seer returned to earth making the Sign of Harpocrates.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 5
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- XV. E Feb. 12
- 3 pipes concentrating on ``Strength from R.H.K.'' 8 PM Invo-
- cation (Pentagram). Vision #2 Sabitini:
-
- Vision No. 2. Arturo Sabatini
- In the desert - hear the sea - a white cloth very high.
- Little by little the cloth becomes transparent. Behind it is
- a fire - something burning (2 pieces of wood ranged as a
- cross). High flame. Many people - some of them black, naked,
- and hold spears in their hands. They dance round the fire. A
- man is tied to the pieces of wood; the wind moves the flames
- - he sees an arm. Flames disappear gradually. The people are
- laughing - sitting in a circle. The fire is out. They all
- rise and take the ashes and scatter them over the desert.
- The cloth again - it becomes more and more opaque. Darkness.
- This means?
-
- A black shadow tells Arturo to explain it himself. He says
-
- 418
- and asks his name.
-
- NECH 3
- He appears to the seer because he saw him. His message?
-
- 93 93/93
- He will talk to Arturo when he is alone doing meditation. He
- says he can't talk now. He has gone away. He is one of the 5
- of last night's vision.
-
- Arturo now finds himself walking on a path among palms - no
- houses.
-
- XVI. B Feb. 13
- 3 pipes, 22 L. - Worship Hadit. Wine - Worship Nuit. No Pen-
- tagram.
-
- XVII. F Feb. 14
- 3:10 PM Msbtn. Reverence to R.H.K.
-
- Pentagram Ritual 8:10 PM - Sabitini Vision:
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 6
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- Vision No. 3. Arturo Sabitini
- I ask him to try to get BENY of first vision. No result.
-
- He sees an island - ships - men. People coming to and fro,
- men working on walls.
-
- Name of island? NAD (Written by Seer who knows no Greek).
- They are busy building walls.
-
- 93 418
- bring no reply. They finish work.
-
- Why is the seer here?
-
- He is assisting. A force carried him there. When the work is
- finished he will get message. They are fortifying.
-
- Ne now sees the island more clearly. There are large trees -
- mountains in the background. It is a new island. Large - it
- has a long low promentory. The central part is high. 1000
- leagues from the shore.
-
- Ships - 11 large ones and one small one. This latter has a
- tent effect in the middle. These boats are all carrying
- materials.
-
- 93 93/93
- The men all bow their heads.
-
- XVIII. C
- 3:10 PM Msbtd. - Reverence to R.H.K. V.L. took oath to go on
- with his Prob. work.
-
- XIX. G Feb 16.
- Pentagram Ritual. Ninette read Chapter III. 4 PM 22L.
- Worship of R.H.K.
-
- A Feb. 17
- 4 PM. 22L. Asana, Preliminary Invocation. R.H.K. Invocation.
- Pentagram Ritual. Mantra after Invocation. Very fine. A bird
- form with a serpent's head appears. It became a hawk (418)
- facing me. I got some word or other, but not distinct or
- distinctive enough to remember.
-
- Asana till 9:16 (24 minutes) and didn't know it.
-
- Arturo has not appeared! Hausi said ``I saw you talking with
- R.H.K.''
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 7
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- K Feb. 18
- Pentagram - Invocation. Idea to write Maude Whitney!!!
-
- E Feb 19
- Pentagram Ritual. 8:45 (last of 11 Invocations to R.H.K.)
- also welcome of A into ]. Arturo arrived a few minutes
- before (after a day and a night in jail). 5 gr X. 3 L. 11H
- (to sample and inspire). Good invocation.
-
- 9 PM ``I hereby declare that the A has entered the sign of ]
- and we shall celebrate this event after the ceremony with a
- feast, as being one step nearer to the accomplishment of the
- G.W., the Estab. of the L. of T.''
-
- I ended the invocation with ``May He deal hardly with them,
- and we go on, go on in His Strength.''
-
- Feast - champagne, cognac, in which we got very drunk.
-
- A Feb 24
- All day invoking and worshipping Hadit.
-
- 7:56-8:08 - concentration. General stillness of body and
- mind.
-
- 8:13-25 - Old mantra - Oh so easy though.
-
- B Feb 27
- Reviewed Oath. Concentration - N.G.
-
- G Mar 1
- Msbtd - (alone, Dionysus) R.M. from W. Took CDN.
-
- A Mar 2
- Msbtd. - R.M. from W. 5 PM 11 L. CCXX-III. 5:19 Bornless One
- - Mantra - Asana (16 mins).
-
- K Mar 3
- 22 L. before Tea. 10:22 PM Verse to concentrate on is: II-
- 53. Thou art emphatically my chosen one ...
-
- E Mar 4
- Grass. Even a fellow with a keen sense of humor cannot
- appreciate the sense of humor in the fellow under grass.
-
- B Mar 5
- 2 goes of L. 3 Cdn. - no noticeable effects. 8:40 PM CDN.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 8
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- G Mar 6
- 1 PM Invocation Jupiter. Letter to Bill OPV Windram. Tele.
- to S.P. (on Altar) Renewed Oath.
-
- C Mar 7
- Msbtd. again & again. M O N E Y.
-
- G Mar 8
- 1 PM Invocation of R.H.K. prefaced by Oath as per CCXX - III
- - 44.
-
- B Mar 12
- After grass and lunch. Lust of Result - Can (verb in impera-
- tive mode) be object or purose (be sure it is caused and not
- lost) concentrate on the act or subject or what not, enjoy
- it fully - but keep the object or purpose well carried.
-
- F Mar 13
- Splendid Invocation of Jupiter. Cable rent to S.P. on next
- morning as just before ceremony the Telegraph boys told us
- 800 lire had arrived from OPV.
-
- G Mar 15
- Preached Law to Prof. ... from Palermno. 8:20 PM Pentagram
- Ritual alone - renewing Oath - taking S.W. Oath - (3 CDN).
-
- A Mar 16
- Msbtd. 100 Pounds from S.P. 6:40 PM Opus I - C. (A. Saba-
- tini). 100 Pounds from S.P.
-
- E Mar 18
- Msbtd. Physical relief. Preached Law to 6 Monks at Gihal
- mamma.
-
- B Mar 19
- 2:15 PM 11 L. (1 CDN) Concentration - III - 44 - 1st part.
- Read Resolution & write Beresford. 6:10 PM (real time 5:30 -
- clocks crazy) 11 L. 1 CDN. concentrating on Word of Equinox
- - Began R.H.K. Invocation, but only got 2 or 3 words going
- when
-
- NOV
- and then completed
-
- NOVEM
- flashed through my mind. Inspiration to write D'Annunzio and
- send him a copy of Mortadello.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 9
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- F Mar 20
- Reply from S.P. - unintelliglble! but not money. Pentagram
- Ritual 9 PM - I declare in the absence of the Beast that the
- Password of the Past 6 mos. was no longer valid and that I
- accepted the word (not mentioning it) subject to the
- approval of The Beast. 10:30 PM. Opus III (C) A.S. and
- Ninette - A perfect Operation of Love under Will. Object:
- COMPLETE RECOVERY OF OUR LORD THE BEAST.
-
- G Mar 22
- 3 PM - 22 L. (Concentration) A letter to G. D'Annunzio.
- Result - an inscription in Mortadello as follows:
-
- 93 to G.D'A. from The S.W., the concubine of the B. 666
- (commonly called Aleister Crowley) who in May of last year
- was expelled from Italy seuza ragione data that the great
- Italian Poet may meditate more deeply on the deplorable con-
- dition of his country which has been the home of English
- poets for centuries.
-
- Abbey of T. Cefalu 93 93/93 A in , Ano XX - Aeon of Horus.
-
- PARIS
- Apr 1
- 22 L. To concentrate my thoughts preparatory to seeing A.C.
- Result - All thoughts fled leaving me with
-
- ``My whole being calls out to you to see us thro' this
- crisis.''
-
- I used this as my opening speech and then the ideas flowed.
-
- Apr 3
- Letters - inspired ones. Later 13 L. Renewed my Oath after
- losing my head re K & C of H.G.A.
-
- ``Part of my Formula is the 4th Power of the Sphinx.''
-
- I also felt (for the first time) purged of the Oaths taken
- and broken (June 1920).
-
- Apr 6
- Said good-bye to a part of myself that I have long wanted to
- lose: self-pity and a feeling of inferiority.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 10
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- Apr 8
- What shall I do re Barucier's demand ``Pay or go by G?''
-
- Immediate response: ``Do nothing, Trust the Gods!''
-
- And I followed this in perfect faith.
-
- Apr 11 C
- I fully decided to take the injunction of Apr 8 literally &
- I have stuck to it. I wait for an unmistakable sign, till I
- do anything further.
-
- Apr 13 A
- 666 better!!!
-
- Apr 15 E
- 22 L. Result - Ninette should not send her deeds to the Old
- Grandmother.
-
- Apr 16 B to Apr 20 K
- Representative for Cecil Jones called. Moneys came in from
- several sources.
-
- Apr 23 B
- Msbtd. - Light (No results as far as I can see.)
-
- Apr 27 A
- Yi - What shall be my immediate action? Ans. Air of Air
- LXII, Act as circumstances warrant. Some great change com-
- ing. Be pliable, elastic, but penetrating, ready to take
- advantage of anything that turns up.
-
- Mantra - Unity, etc.
-
- Two quite foreign thoughts in the midst of the usually ordi-
- nary message:
-
- 1 Coney Island - I there suddenly
-
- 2 I playing Funeral March from Beethoven. This brought
- about ``normal thoughts'' re OPV death of 666, ---, also of
- child - and the Mantra stopped.
-
- Apr 28 A
- Formulated
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 11
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- May 1919 E.J. Feast - Poupee conceived
-
- 20 Little Boy conceived (Cefalu)
-
- 21 Ceremony I.
-
- 22 London - D.F.
-
- 23 Explusion - Tunis.
-
- 24 ? Vavin
-
- 25
-
- Poupee - A.C. Paris, LT. A.C. Paris, R.L.'s death, A.C.
- Paris beat B.
-
- Apr 29
- 666 delivered his message to Mary Butts & we talked to Cecil
- Maitland.
-
- Apr 30
- Beast very ill - a part of last spasm, for
-
- F May 1, 1924,
- we were ejected from 50 rue Vavine, and the query above (Apr
- 28) for 1924 could be filled in. Also see Yi Divination Apr.
- 27!!!
-
- May 1-20
- We nursed the child at 6 Rue Jolin. Cecil Jones coming to
- terms slowly. OPV thro' the worst of his troubles.
-
- May 10
- A break-down threatened us.
-
- May 16
- Sullivan, Kennedy, Cul Solar & Jones, the American lawyer! -
- Three kings + !!!
-
- May 14
- Take Oath to cast out pride from my heart. Cut AK on my left
- forearm - Invoked R.H.K. and said over and over again
-
- ``There is a need for blood.''
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 12
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- May 15
- Xol Solar Signed Oath in Silence Diary. Several moneys have
- come in.
-
- May 19
- Re: news of possible expulsion of all from Cefalu. 11:45 AM
- Cannot sleep. Thoughts troubling me. Then I wrote:
-
- 1. 1920-21 666 had the opportunity of ``Sacrificing'' the
- C.P. Stock - i.e., heaving it circulated with what appeared
- a great loss to him.
-
- 2. Explusion of whole colony - It is up to the Gods to
- ``save'' the ``valuables'' there. See my Diary for more of
- this.
-
- Expenses at Hotel for 12 days = 573.00. For 1 Day = 47.75
- per day.
-
- May 20 E
- Chellas S. at M. Retirement started.
-
- May 21
- Jones is giving in.
-
- May 24
- I want to do away with the words Science & Art.
-
- May 27
- Visit to Com. of Police. Keys.
-
- 10:00 PM Opus I 666 - Successful retirement.
-
- May 30
- 10:00 PM Opus II - 31-666-31 - Msbtd. Help for V.L. (who is
- very ill).
-
- May 31
- XUL Solar came out (8:30?) PM and rushed back to Paris.
-
- Pd. Hotel 535.75+25.25+12(tips)=573.00 Fr
-
- from May 20 - June 1 i.e., for 12 days.
-
- Also several meals out, not recorded (Paris trip, etc) but
- will keep weekly account beginning tomorrow.
-
- Magical Diary of Alostrael 31-666-31
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 13
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- ``Au Cadran Blue'' Chelles, Seine et Marne, France
-
- June 1, 1924 e.v. 10:30 PM A
- XUL Solar has not yet shown up. He needs a severe programme.
- Today, I spent most of my time writing a long letter with
- enclosures of various kinds to O.P.V., also copying letter
- to Alabama people. The daily payment plan is already getting
- on my nerves. Tired, but not nervous.
-
- June 2 9 AM K
- Raining again. Breakfast at 8:15. 666 gone back to sleep. I
- continue with my letters:
-
- Fire Water
-
- 12:30 PM My opinion is that one does not really get a shot
- at one's complexes until one has managed to eliminate the
- influences of convention.
-
- 1:25 PM 6 dr G. + rum + wine at lunch.
-
- 2:40 PM (after lunch) Quite uncomfortable - but 666 wants
- his books from the P.O., so after telling him a fet thoughts
- (re later) I went. Returned - raining like hell - Tea. Ideas
- connected with convention and complex. To get at people's
- ``conventions'' trouble I suggest two main lines:
-
- 1 for the simple - ask the question ``What troubles you
- most in life.''
-
- 2 for the more complex animal - Force him with a list of
- all the crimes? possible and ask him to mention the one that
- he thinks worst ``wicked'' or ``disgusting'' or some such
- term.
-
- Ate no dinner. Bed early, after short walk.
-
- June 3 E 9:50 AM
- All ready to go to Paris. I await letter from Pre Catalan.
-
- June 4 B 11 AM
- I went to Paris and everything seemed to go wrong - but I
- survived it. Bed at 9.
-
- Long dreams - woke at 3 AM and then slept until around 7.
-
- My fountain pen has arrived. Behold the result!
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 14
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- Yes, I called on Xul Solar - he was ``in bed'' as usual. I
- waited 12 minutes and then beat it ... I await an answer!
-
- Dictation from 3 to 7 (with tea in between). 666 in bed all
- day, not ill, but oh so tired! Raining like hell all day -
- bloody weather.
-
- 9 PM 666 & Ethyl - How I hate this business starting again!
- It is a beastly stink to those not using it. I have been
- trying all day to sew a bib. Everytime I get the thing in my
- hands something or somebody interrupts.
-
- June 5 2:30 PM F
- A short resume.
-
- Last night 666 & Ethyl wanted a quite dark room so I sat me
- at the window and drank rum, smoked cigarettes until Cadram
- began to cut up. He ran away from Marie and hid under our
- bed. I spent some time in helping to catch the other dog
- which of course we didn't do.
-
- Slept well but 666 woke me 6 times one of which was the
- arrival of XUL Solar (so he thought 0 and he was right - for
- this AM Marie announced him and shortly after he announced
- himself.)
-
- Received letter from Goiran - cheque 154.96. Send Knickers &
- letter to Suzanne. Lunch at 12:30. 666 sleeping now - Letter
- to Sullivan ready, also copying one to Bill which I doubt
- will ever be ready.
-
- June 6 C
- 9 AM I had planned to write up my diary every evening but
- there is always something to prevent. Last night it was Sidi
- Bou Ali - Notes in 666's diary. This morning 7:10-15 AM Opus
- III (A) I did reverence to R.H.K. 666? Bright sunny day.
- Hurrah! 3 PM Out for lunch, only we turned back and got here
- at 1 PM. 666 sleeping - I want a hat! Headachy, tired and
- heavy. A long dull (though bright) day. 41 g. w Turban to
- XUL S. - no noticeable effects.
-
- June 7 G 2:30 PM
- Stupid day - it's clear but dull. We financed our hat
- already home. 666 not yet strong.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 15
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- June 8 11:45 AM A
- Movies last night. Great ful. 666 talked to XUL S. undil
- goodness knows when - every once in a while his rashing
- voice so jarred on me that I wanted to scream. When this was
- not the case, I heard the pipe going or the tea being drunk!
- All this was relieved by Opus IV (C) (To become the Babalon
- I need to be) 666? some time before 3AM. I went quite wile.
- Received tobacco a few minutes ago but no other mail. Hell!
- Have not and cannot decide about Hardelot Big fees today
-
- June 9 K
- Rumpus at Hotel - negress. XUL S. to Paris.
-
- June 10 E
- Beast to Paris. Copied letters, fancies, divinations, etc.
- 666 back at 6:40.
-
- June 11 B
- Woke at 5. Hell! It's earlier every morning. We had ``early
- tea'' before 7 and breakfast about 8:30. 1 PM 666 in bed
- still (having lunch there). I stayed in bed till 10 myself.
- It is rainy again. 666 needs a big wallop from a big nigger
- wench.
-
- June 12 F
- 666 to Paris. Came home by 8:16. Did not expect him so I
- went to bed with my Turban on. It came off when my Lion
- showed up. Slept late - after midnight - Wrote a long long
- letter to O.P.V.
-
- June 13 C
- Up before 8 but very sleepy. Letters - too late for Paris
- trains 11 L - it rained, so I am glad. Tried to telegraph
- O.P.V. but after waiting 1/2 hrs for information I thought
- on the whole it would be savig time to send a P.C. XUL Solar
- being waked up.
-
- June 14 G
- Up at 9 tho woke before 7. It's damp and chilly. Between
- 2:30-3:30 PM (after a Turban) Opus V - (C) 666 I kept my
- mind off anything.
-
- Msbtd. Opus VI - shortly after V - Ra-Hoor-Khuit (not having
- been satisfied by it.) I had the feelig of being a ? and
- generally then a penis which became gradually ready for
- action and then the gradual ``going down.''
-
- It was a great experience.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 16
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- Preoccupied all day and evening, but enjoying every moment
- in a quiet sort of way.
-
- Dinner and cinema at Challas. Home after midnight. Nstn. up
- day (i.e. started late at night).
-
- June 15
- Rain again. Stores in the kitchen drove us out to lunch.
- Montgomery Evans and ``Alice, where art thou?''. Later - he
- showed up (I like him).
-
- June 16
- Very tired when 666 waked me for breakfast. Last night -
- tired unknown and I had scraps of a vision. I do not remem-
- ber how it began, but the full moon, mstbn, and XUL S's
- talking about ``breaks'' in his work perhaps helped. How-
- ever, it was as follows:
-
- S was thinking of ``choose ye an island'' - saw large white
- birds, not clearly - which turned to serpents - finally a
- peculiar large light dove colored egg with what appeared to
- be a serpent around it. But it was not a serpent after all
- because conscious of the inside of the egg in which I was a
- serpent but then discovered that it was a bir with a very
- long neck. There was an opening (not to the outside where I
- had previously been), but to a tunnel sort of place. I
- plunged in and saw a peacock - white. I called him Pera,
- said 418, etc. and thought of the ``island.''
-
- Then I saw a saucer with 5 pieces of sugar on it - one more
- noticable than the others because it has a name in black
- letters on it -
-
- C N A N D E T T
- Somewhere in the vision I saw a key but I can't remember
- where _ I think after I saw the sugar islands - as my minds
- ran to ``Now fortify it.'' I remember no more.
-
- I dreamed about Kings and all the rest of it, waking once at
- least and giving orders on goverment with great certainity.
- I advise that no one should have power unless he was well-
- trained and tried and it boehtered me because we seemed to
- weed them out once and training takes time.
-
- Jun 17 E
- Paris with 666. Hot, generally uncomfortable. Two visits to
- Suzanne. Two visits to Geriand (he was out). Dinner at
- Chinese Restaurant - homeon 8:16. A.C. very tired boy.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 17
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- June 18 B
- Blessed sunshine! makes me remember the full moon last
- night. She was very fiery and seemed much larger than any
- moons I've seen before. Latters from Geriand and O.P.V.
-
- June 19 F
- No Hump, no aimee. Opus 7 Msbtd. Phys. Relief - 8 AM. Xul
- Solar leaves tomorrow.
-
- June 20 C
- Began the day by trying to telephone to Paris. Finally suc-
- ceeded and came out to lunch. A turban & '75 & wine & straw-
- berries = Velly Sick Monkey. Xul S. left about 4:50 PM tho
- he had planned to leave the day before. Disliked Evans' way
- of ``being a sport.'' After all, Xul S. has qualities which
- no amount of cultivation, experience or anything else can
- give to Evans.
-
- June 21
- Beast to Paris - I, feeling ``queer.'' Could that tiny bit
- of Biscuit have done it??
-
- Loafed all day. Very nervous.
-
- June 22 A
- Cheque from G.
-
- June 29 A
- A whole week gone! A busy, lazy week at that. Went to Paris
- on E June 24 and again on Friday June 28. Called on Geriand
- both times - saw him on C. He has made a mess of the
- Bourcier business.
-
- June 30 K 7:25 PM
- A Turban of 6 - hous errors. Wrote a long letter to Goiraud.
- I hope it doesn't puzzle him too much. Have waitedthis long
- time to write B.C. - Hell! I have no paper. 7:30 - it seems
- hours. Reflection - So soon! 7:40 He (who?) the man at the
- bar (why?) He lost his leg in the army. Did he belong to
- Coxie's army. If so, what is he doing a Frenchman?
-
- July 1 E
- To Paris, under protest. I was as cross as could be in the
- morning, felt thoroughly unprepared to go to Kammerley Hall,
- yet the moment I left the house I found myself as keen and
- capable as could be.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 18
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- Programme in Paris (resume)
-
- 1. Kammerly Hall - couldn't see him - appt. for F.
-
- 2. Suzanne - pd. her 50 fr.
-
- 3. Suzanne Aunt - no velvet - to call in PM
-
- 4. Coat, Scarf, Walking Stick.
-
- 5. P.O.
-
- 6. Done at 12 & sat with Willy for a lont time, then the
- ``Old Man'' joined and invited me to fix up his flat. I made
- a date with him for F at 12.
-
- 7. Dentist - nice man. Estimate 3300 fr.
-
- 8. Suzanne A. again - 100 francs for berre.
-
- 9. Home at 5:24 - 666 met me!
-
- 10. Home - dinner & long letter to O.P.V.
-
- Cross again - as soon as I struck Chelles! Hell!! Well?
-
- July 2 10 AM A
- Raining like hell. 666 sleeping tho we planned to go to
- Paris. Two long letters to O.P.V. copied 4 pages of my own.
- 666 off on 5:56 - I to P.O. and shopping. Caught in healthy
- shower! Home at 6:40.
-
- July 3 1 AM
- Noises - strong smell of chloroform, or so I supposed. But
- sleep is all off. God help me!
-
- 1:08 AM I was too busy listening to listen write - and I do
- not dare to sleep. The window is now open. I don't dare to
- close it. And I am afraid!
-
- About 20 minutes ago Opus VII msbtd - To get going to Estab.
- the L. of T. - action, in other words.
-
- I trust this is not it. But after all if it is the action
- needed, I shall do not fail to do all I can. Am I quite
- crazy?
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 19
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- July 5 G
- Spend F night and E in Paris. Took 9:44 F, visited Dentist,
- Counsel, B.C.F., Kennerley Hall, and the Dame. Shopped in
- Maine and after a siege with the dentist E A.M. caught the
- 12:02 back home.
-
- In Paris
-
- 1. Dentist - bill to be presented when work is completed.
-
- 2. Consulate - H.B.M.C.G. was not in. But one of the men
- there informed A.C. that his passport was not in order and
- that the V.C. was ``green.''
-
- 3. Kennerley Hall - Spend 1 hour with him & have promised
- to send him a report.
-
- 4. B.C. Fund
-
- I called there at 11:40 while A.C. was still at the
- Consulate.
-
- The door was opened by Miss Clayton, the woman who called at
- 5:00 May 1. When I said, ``You are the very person I want to
- see,'' she said, ``You'll have to see Miss Macnsughton'' and
- ushered me into the Dewine Presence. I got a chill from
- which I have not yet recovered. These worms have to have
- some means of self-protection.
-
- I told her I had called to pay back the 20 francs lent by
- Miss Clayton, unless it had not yet already been repaid. She
- said ``No.'' Then, I pulled out the 20 fr., held on to them
- for dear life, and said I should like to talk to Miss the
- lady - etc - I don't know her name - what is her name?
-
- She refused to let me talk to Miss C. on the ground that
- they were finished with the case, it being a consular case
- and ``You're not a British subject? You're an American.'' I
- protested: ``Oh no, sweety, I'm Swiss.''
-
- She referred to the ``record'' before her and said that
- there was nothing to report - M. C. & his friend (secretary)
- had been ejected, order 5000 fr. to the proprietor, and she
- had telephoned the Consulate on May 2 to say it was a
- Consular case.
-
- ``Is that all?'' said I, innocently.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 20
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- ``Yes,'' she said.
-
- ``Then what did th eman at the Consulate refer to when he
- told you that throughout it looked to him like a
- `professional case'?'', flashed I, verbally and with my eyes
- firmly fixed on her.
-
- No answer. Damn my soul, I became kind-hearted, and helped
- her out (I wonder whether I did really) by saying ``You
- don't remember those words?''
-
- Said she ``No'', but hardly audibly.
-
- ``Well, I do,'' remarked Miss Leah H, and told her my embar-
- rassment in being forced to listen to a telephone conversa-
- tion.
-
- She dropped the subject and asked quite cooly about the
- payment. I handed her the 20, and she dipped her pen in a
- nearly empty ink-pot (red ink) at least 20 times. I wonder
- if anyone can read what she wrote! I paid up and asked her,
- as she refused to allow us to do so myself, to thank Miss C.
- for her kindness and timely help.
-
- ``20 fr. looked very large to us that day.'' said I.
-
- The ugly old Macuaughton was back on the job.
-
- ``It's very queer,'' said she, ``that such a condition
- should have arisen.'' (This with as positive convication as
- the rosy-cheeked person's ``professional case'' remark. They
- should leave the Pooblic Service and give Jung etc. instruc-
- tions in psychoanalysis.
-
- ``Not when you know the circumstances,'' quoth I, and
- exited.
-
- Later, we called again and were received by the Furnance
- Man, so I thought at first sight. Our acquaintance he viewed
- more like what I imaginethe least incapable people in a
- poor-house to be like. He swelled with importance when he
- announced that he was in charge!!! A.C. rambled on and the
- charge gave his views on the duties, priviledges, etc. of a
- Pooblic Servant.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 21
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- His final speech, on A.C.'s asking if he saw murder done in
- the street, would he give evidence or notify the police, was
- ``If you want to keep out of trouble, you'll get away as
- fast as you can'' or something to that effect.
-
- So much for Poohblick Survints!
-
- July 6 A
- Wright & Brown called yesterday. No Anna W.! 666 not well.
- Tired and uninterested. I busy all day morning writing up
- acct. of Vavin Slong & letters for Cuald, etc.
-
- July 7 K
- Paris by 9:44. Met M. de Lima, a play writer. Leo, Cancer
- man - missed the 8:16 by 1 minute. Home late. Also met Ella
- Burgin and Nelam, of Lady Hamilton extraction.
-
- July 8
- Letter from O.P.V. re B.D. Collins, etc. Good by.
-
- July 9
- Paris on 1:35. Dentist & Suzanne. Hunt. Dame - de Lima,
- Wright. No Willy. I bet she dit it, the bloody fool.
-
- July 10
- Rotten all day. 9 PM Opus VIII Msbtd. Reverence to R.H.K.
- Letters from Alabana, she may have sinled July 3!
-
- July 11
- Woke feeling rotten. Not going to Paris as for appointment.
- Patron telephoned. Garalin PM. Mnstrm - 1st day.
-
- July 12 G
- Hot as hell. Cheque from G - gave it to Patrons. Sewed and
- wrote letters to A.I. and Prog.
-
- July 16 B 5 PM
- ``I want to know the future'' is the ansser that grass made
- me utter, in searching for the cause of my present state of
- health. I took 4 drops before lunch to this end.
-
- On K I had too much and was deathly ill with it, too much
- '75 and wine. 4 drops gives me all I need in the line of
- relaxing and no discomfort.
-
- July 17 F
- 500 fr arrived from London, making 10 pounds in all (250.50
- rec'd on E).
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 22
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- July 18 4:15 PM
- Yi - How shall I act at present with regard to Alma?
-
- Earth of Sol. No XXII, Pi Twan - Avoid Initiative
-
- Line 1. Show the excellence of your way as enabling you to
- despise material matters.
-
- Line 2. Art is very well, but dependent on life.
-
- Line 3. Show how fortunate you are. Be firm about it.
-
- Line 4. Offer to help her with great simplicity and great
- enthusiasm, using sincerity.
-
- Line 5. Set her feel that she owes to you even her present
- degree of manifestation.
-
- Line 6. Show that the supreme virtue is simplicity.
-
- (Later msbtd: this AM 8:30? Some Life in A.C. Wrote letters.
- 4 gr before lunch - 4 before dinner. To write to Alma.
-
- 8:40 PM The keynote to Alma is that her mind is practically
- gone.
-
- A minute or so ago I found B's bottle of O. and took a bit
- to sober me sufficiently to write Alma.
-
- 8:50 I started to write Alma. But it doesn't write. I think
- I'll decide on the Yi's first injunction and take not the
- initiative.
-
- July 19 G
- My day off! 11:30 AM and I'm still in bed! Smoked 4
- cigarettes and just loafed.
-
- 7 PM Eventful day:
-
- 1. Telephone call - Dentist 10:30 AM
-
- 2. Letter from Alma 11 AM
-
- 3. Letter from M.E. 2nd 11 AM
-
- 4. 666 to Paris 2:41 PM
-
- 5. Con. of Police called 5 PM
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 23
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 6. Letter from OPV 4 PM
-
- 7. Telegram Leak? London 7 PM
-
- I also washed my hair and scrapped thetin box. Feeling
- rotten, I decided to feel rottener.
-
- Oh yes! Greatest of all!!!!! !666 ate 2 bananas! before
- lunch!!!!!
-
- Trying to write to Alma but simply can't.
-
- July 20 A
- To Paris. Sullivan.
-
- July 21 K
- To Chelles. 13 pounds O.P.V. Pictures of Chefalu people.
- Letter from M.Clark and amount & money.
-
- July 22 E
- Back to Paris on 2:35. Stayed at Marina Hotel. Evans here -
- I very tired.
-
- 5:53 PM 666 sleeping. Baggage, baggage everywhere. And not a
- rag to wear!
-
- July 27 A Montramarte 24 rue Samarck
- Been here since B July 23. F met F. Harris after lunch at La
- Paiu, and visit to Bishop & G. E A.C. talked with F.H. -
- Anna Wilson at Doma. F Letter from Alma - she's sentmy $100.
-
- 10:35 AM - Making list of books in Box B.
-
- 12:30 PM At the Savoyard, after listing books in Box B. Fine
- day. Four pounds from D.L.T.C. I feel very excited about
- going to London. I must get my Rogues Gallery going again.
- Auiden yesterday - planetary restaurant.
-
- July 30 B
- 9 AM Symbol No XXXII How to use H.N. Hall. A.C. had lunch
- with him. Suzanne & Suzanne have been paid off, and walked
- in year rig to Henry's Bar where Anna received us! Dinner at
- Suzanne ru Paine. Home James!
-
- F Chellas by the 9:14. Hall came out later. I like him -
- but?
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 24
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- Aug 1 C
- 11:40 AM 666 is not feeling well. I have been running about
- all morning but cannot dec'd what to take to London. What I
- saw as strength to cary on a very definite line of campaign.
- I shall close this record now, and start another one (as
- soon as I get it).
-
- Dec 2 1924 ev
- 7:40 - 48 PM Invocation of R.H.K. (Unity) & impromptu
- special point. ``Work the work of wickedness.''
-
- Dec 14 1924 e.v. A
- AN xx A in Q K in ? 4:31 PM
- I start a new Magicak Record. For months now I have dared
- and sneered at and rejected what I termed ``old magical
- methods.'' But all my actions to get something new have
- brought me merely to a state of nervous collapse which seems
- to have reached its limit today.
-
- I can do no more than start all over again. I affirm that my
- only reason for holding out against what seemed hopless and
- unending difficulties is that I may be of service in the
- Great Work. I have in the past taken upon myself a series of
- tasks of which I neither understood the purpose nor con-
- sciously. I do not know whether I have failed hopelessly or
- whether I can still make good. I do know that I can merely
- re-affirm these oaths, one by one; tho whichever one I may
- select will torture me to look at the next.
-
- But I think on reading over various old Diaries, that I had
- better start with my 8o=3o Oath and work along those lines.
-
- I hereby, 4:40 PM, A Dec 14 repeat:
-
- 4:44 PM I did so - adding Lilith to the other names.
-
- I am ashamed to say that I was weeping like a baby all the
- while but I think the tears have loosened up something that
- needed to be hit at badly.
-
- 5:07 PM I just accused myself of not having the courage to
- give up smoking. I have and I will not smoke until I have
- recovered my physical looks sufficiently to allow me to do
- so sensibly. I look like a butt that has been lying about
- for a week.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 25
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 5:14
-
- I take this (sip of white wine) to Nuit.
-
- I take this (1 dr Auh. Lau. in white wine) to Hadit.
-
- I take this (cut my wrist with razor) to Ra-Hoor-Khuit.
-
- 5:27 PM While finishing typing above telegram from 666
- arived. ``Strongly advise against American. Letter follows
- explaining.''
-
- 5:45 I see quite clearly that all I have been doing for the
- last few months was to ``hate,'' not to ``love.'' I mistook
- this for ``the work of wickedness'' - O.P.V. set me right on
- this thou I more or less suspected that wickedness was akin
- to witchery - be-witching. Didn't I call myself ``Hag'' and
- Witch and all the rest of them. Perspective is absolutely
- necessary. Copies of this for 666.
-
- 7:13 PM Take first meal I have really eaten for a week. 1
- cigarette with coffee because I looked human. Now, no more.
-
- 10:10 Pentagram completed (after nice hot wash).
-
- 11:40 But its all no use - my mind keeps whirling round &
- round.
-
- 12:50 Msbtd. Magical (partner)
-
- 2:05 Been reading over Visions and also state of my life I
- started on Hoble's suggestions
-
- Midnight K Dec 15 - E Dec 16
- To bed after the dance.
-
- Dec 16 E
- Asaha. 7:06 AM-7:16 My back gave way several times and my
- breathing bad due to cold. Said ``Thou who art I'' not all
- the time the red coat popped in.
- 6:25 PM Wrote to 666, O.P.V. and Ninette, but I can't get
- going on the Hause business at all. Tried to write to Marion
- but can't do that either. I thought my walk and meal at the
- little restaurant would clear my mind. It has, but not for
- this particular job.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 26
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- Dec 18 F
- 5 PM It's all no use - I seem to be getting worse and yet I
- have no conviction that I'm really on the mend. Am I delud-
- ing myself?
-
- E evening - Cinema
-
- Wed AM - Msbdt. - calling madly on Chaos.
-
- Occasional bouts of Asana
-
- Wed evening - Cafe
-
- Today St Germain in the fog and hundreds of indecisions.
- Wrote letter to Marion - its good & it isn't - I want, I
- want, I want.
-
- And I'm going to keep on wanting. This AM - Asana - 15 min-
- utes - ``Thou who art I'' & Pan Mantra going like mad.
-
- 5:08 I light the candle, I burn the incense
-
- 5:20-5:35 Asana - Thou who art I & Pan (This after Penta-
- gram, creed, and collects). Great peace, but thought of
- having cut up blue robe bothered me.
-
- 7:45 PM Typed hipta Poems - I must concentrate off the House
- business for a bit. But nerves, nerves! And its all Magical
- - but what to do, I don't know. I await 666's word but will
- I get it and if I do, will I understand?
-
- I will sit calmly and smoke a cigarette and drink my coffee.
-
- 10:50 I did it - I danced alone in my cafe - I danced with a
- lesbian and I kissed the waiter - that's that! We'll see how
- it turns out. But I'm out to get hard cash & I'll get for my
- Big Lion Baby Snake - There are no iffs - I'll bloody well
- get it.
-
- 12: - To Bed - Typed 2 oaths and had some soup. Now we'll
-
- Invoke, invoke! and then to sleep
-
- Dec 19 C
- 10:15 PM Got letters from 666, O.P.V., & V.I. & Alma, also
- from furrier. Typed a bit of note to Suzanne - blast her. I
- had to wait an eternally long time and then she wanted to be
- paid!
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 27
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- The dress is - just not right. No work in me - Pentagram - 9
- PM.
-
- Poking about ever since. Cup of tea and too many cigarettes.
-
- Now to bed & Pan Mantra!
-
- 11:10 - I did ``Pan'' it - it was great! And then I found
- myself between just ordinary thoughts, paying all sorts of
- things, ending with
-
- I am, Iweep, I wail, I know
-
- (Thought about Hause possibly being on his way, etc.)
-
- Dec 20 G
- After last entry last night I suddenly got up and had a hot
- wash. I said, ``I am going to meet my Lord Chaos whose bride
- I am.''
-
- I ate a small bit of bread and invoked Chaos - my head burnt
- as tho I were being branded by hot irons. I tried to repeat
- my 8=3 oath, but got no further than ``a member of the body
- of God'' -
-
- Then I simply said I devote myself to the accomplishment of
- the G.W. and to establish the Law of Thelema.
-
- It was midnight when I slept and I never woke till 10 this
- morning. Dreams - dreams - Astrid & Beast worried - Beast
- very obscure - going somewhere but didn't seem to know. I so
- uncertain, quite beyond myself. Two other men in the party.
-
- My general impression is that I am not ready to take the
- Oath properly yet. Am I trying to get out of it? I don't
- know.
-
- Got my coat and saw Suzanne - Heaven only knows what this
- will lead to - but I did it. Anyway, the cook's a beauty and
- the bed will be too.
-
- Dec 21 A
- 12:42 AM After last entry - marketed - lost a franc on a
- bunch of carrots (no I didn't go where the carrots were,
- more's the pity!) Then a good fried - dress rehersal and out
- in the blue dress to red home from 9:30 to 11:20 -
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 28
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- Nothing doint & get I think I am doing something. What? Then
- Pentagram and Pan Mantra - used Z's wand instead of Sword.
- Cup of tea - bed.
-
- 3:40 AM Not a wink of sleep in me - not a bit of work in me
- - What the hell shall I do - Just bad breathing & tummy
- ache, but I can't be hungry. Perhaps I am - I've been day
- dreaming about America and sensational landing. Those things
- never come off.
-
- I could bet most anything (except my new coat) that there is
- something devilish going on somewhere among the Brethren
- tonight. It may simply be A entering R, if this is the time,
- if so, he's entering on a gallop. What news tomorrow? Very
- excitement is that of operation, not of fear - But all sorts
- of precautions arise.
-
- 12:30 PM A
- Slept from 6 to 10 - wake heavy, hot, dazed, and generally
- miserable. Up at 11:30 - out for coffee and milk.
-
- Things to do
-
- 1. See fur woman for collar.
-
- 2. See S. About (?)
-
- 3. Fleischman
-
- 4. Noble re books
-
- 5. Mrs. Ficke?
-
- 1 PM - Pentagram Asana and Mantra(?) Thou who art I
-
- 1:03-1:05 Asana - back gives way - I find myself all bent up
- - 3 times I straightened myself out - also - mind wanders to
- all the things I've to do and didn't do - exp. the Stewart
- Waiter failures. But as soon as I get over these something
- else pops up. It is really much easier to be an Episenpalise
- and get it all out in a ready-made prayer.
-
- Started to get ready to go to Ella B. & Dome, but couldn't
- do it. Blvd clicking - 2 grog Americans & home. Ate 3 huge
- Mortadel sandwiches.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 29
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- Dec 21 A
- 7:12 PM Though I've been complaining about too many unful-
- filled oaths, I add another to the list:
-
- ``I hereby take an Oath to refrain from smoking for a period
- of 7x9 days.'' (This brings us to Feb 22).
-
- Dec 22 K
- 6:10 PM After last entry - went to bed and msbtd. for
- Magical Partner. Ten minutes later - tap, tap, tap, the
- Waiter to ask me to come up and dance. But I was all in so
- didn't go tho I had qualms about it.
-
- Then sleep till 9 AM - Went for milk and Dubonet and my
- friend called me - Mme. treated me to a Dubonet. (Typewriter
- man came! new ribbon). Later to tele. - I met the old
- antique and his wife - They didn't ask me to sit down -
-
- 1. Fleishman - wrong no.
-
- 2. Noble - not home.
-
- Called in (1) not home - left note. Had scrap re: Italian
- men about dates -
-
- Freudian forgetfullness -
-
- Before going for milk, from time I woke until 11 on and off
-
- Msbtd
-
- Msbtd
-
- Msbtd
-
- like mad calling on Chaos -
-
- E 1:10 AM
- Well, I'm getting on or off - I don't know which? Went to my
- original cafe - entered dancing and had 3 drinks and desert
- for nothing.
-
- Then to Mere Catharine - danced likehell - no drinks except
- 1 coffee. One police officer there! Told me that bronze wand
- was too heavy - Date with him at 10 tomorrow evening.
- Wonder?
-
- 1:31 AM Finish Call to invoke Chaos.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 30
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- Dec 24 B
- 5:52 PM I must have been drugged last ngith. Sent petit blue
- to Kitty K and to N.H. - neither has shown up. I cry like a
- hound every so often - tho I did have about 1 hour's peace-
- ful rest. Every time I think of the House business I nearly
- go out of my mind and howl and howl. I've got to pull myself
- together. I can, for a short time.
-
- Dec 25 F
- 1:19 AM Just returned after trip with Kitty and Kennedy -
- They came at about 10:30 - B My dear old Noble came in at 6:
- bucked me up wonderfully and left me 10 fr. What a man he
- is! I love him.
-
- 11:15 PM A peaceful day - just happy and calm and quiet.
-
- Dec 26 C
- Still shaky - Msbtd again this AM?? Mnstrn - 2nd day. Calm
- but not?
-
- 8:45 PM 3 dr Anh. Lew. in 1/4 glass wine - after dinner and
- walk (cigaretts not got) To worship Hadit.
-
- Dec 27 G
- 2:20 AM Msbtd - Union with Chaos - my whole idea seems to
- deplete my body absolutely so that I may lose my thoughts -
- But I am all wrong. I am starved, but I shall start to love
- tomorrow.
-
- There will be no more masturbation - Prhaps there will be
- insanity or death, but there'll be something, if I have to
- create it myself.
-
- 2:40-2:48 Preliminary Invocation. Peaceful but not sleepy.
- Breathing difficult.
-
- 3:55-3:58 (3 minutes) Prana
-
- 10-10 2 min
-
- 10-15-5 1 min
-
- Dec 27 G 24 e.v.
- These three days are mine, G, A, K. I have 50 francs - I
- have food in the house - I have charcoal and wood - I have
- plenty of work to do - It rains.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 31
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- What happens at the end of this 3 day period doesn't matter.
- Nothing matters - now or ever. I drink the red wine with 4
- dr. of A.L. in it, and read the Stele poetry from Cap. III
-
- To Dome at 9 - after smoking 4 cigarettes and destroying ---
- . I am a ... Another at Dome. Kennedy backing out of paint-
- ing me. A grog and sandwich and oh how Willy loves me!
- Souisse!! Abortions!! Death! Came home chilled - 2 grogs and
- I'm as warm as toast.
-
- Dec 28 A
- 11:35 AM Preliminary Invocation
-
- Dec 29 K
- 12:34 AM Danced till noon.
-
- 12:25 AM This is the 3rd day. Wrote letters re Hause - Drank
- - danced and now I'm ready for anything. Worries began again
- - but not badly. To Dome at 12:45 - Met one Moissey Kogan -
- Artist, Russian.
-
- We went to Mlle. Selfers, studio (20 rue Boissonade) - she
- weaves, then to his hotel, then to 2 exhibitions and finally
- I came home. He's coming tomorrow - We'll see.
-
- 3:55 left ... and 1/2 glass cognac.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 32